10 Handy Hints About Sleeping in Airports

Now, I’m no expert, but I have now slept in American Airports about 8 times. And here are a few hints and tips.

1. FIND A PLUG SOCKET/OUTLET! Guard it with your life and growl at anyone who comes near it.

2. Try and find seats that don’t have arm rests. Those pesky things might be great for normal customers but for the lowly airport sleepers, they are our enemies.

3. Bring some food. Anything will do. I’ve often favoured Jimmy Johns Day Old Bread. Airport food places shut quite early sometimes. And they’re so goddamn expensive!

4. When getting changed in airport toilets, they often have automatic flush systems. This means that every time you move the toilet will flush. Try and have competitions with yourself or your friends to see who can make the toilet flush the least. Trust me, you’ll be bored and this is fairly amusing. 

5. Do try and get some sleep. I’ve tried to stay up expecting just to sleep on the plane before but sod’s law says that you’ll be sat in front of a demon child if you do this. Especially if you’re expecting to walk round an entire city as soon as you arrive.

6. When you are sleeping, try and keep all your stuff either under you or wrapped around you some way. 

7. Try and ignore the inevitable creepy people that come up to you. Smile sweetly and then resume staring into empty space.

8. Don’t sleep with eye masks on or with headphones in. It may seem like a good idea but you’ll get so paranoid every time you hear someone near by that it’s even harder to sleep.

9. Quite a few airports have free Wifi so make the most of this. Some airports (Chicago O’Hare) are bitches and want you to pay about $10 for Wifi. But, you get to use it for a month. So if you’re planning to live in an airport for a month it’s a bargain!

10. If you’re on your own try to use the toilet as soon as you get there and then not again. You’ll have to lug all your stuff with you every time you go. Either that or trust some friendly strangers with all your worldly possessions. 

You can either follow these or, alternatively, win the lottery and pay to stay in the Hilton overnight.

Anyway, I hope those handy hints will be helpful. Good Luck!